What you oughta know to discuss on the patio

A six-pack of weekend storylines

The tale of the tiny house that sold for $1.8 million felt like pre-pandemic times for downtown Toronto real estate clickbait. But it was balanced by the Toronto Star update on how the couple who transformed a $50,000 shed into a five-storey live-work “tower” can’t find a $2.2 million buyer. But no one knows where the market is going this fall.

The uncertainties of autumn

Doug Ford’s back-to-school plan has a fan in one premier from yesteryear, but a return to classrooms the day after Labour Day sounds less likely in Toronto, where public school parents will be asked next week about whether they’ll opt for remote learning.

COVID-19 inspiration won’t be seen on Ontario licence plates. Letter combinations that address the pandemic were prominent among the applications rejected by the province in recent months, including one for “MOISTLY.” CBC News reporter Haydn Watters also discovered that “OKBOOMER” was rejected for being discriminatory.

Popcorn pictures get the deal

Tenet, the Christopher Nolan movie that spent the summer in suspended animation, will get its wide Canadian release next week—including at the Ontario Place Cinesphere. The socially distant movie-going experience is now established at every Cineplex location, another step into this strange new world of out-of-home entertainment rituals:

This is a fucking abomination and I will not submit to yet another level of interference in an insanely over-micro-managed newsroom.” Rosie DiManno fired off a reply-all at the Toronto Star, in response to the news that fellow columnist Shree Paradkar was appointed its “first internal ombud” to help navigate editorial-related concerns.

Finally, the Québécois cop-out

Escouade 99 began production last summer as an official French-Canadian adaptation of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, the American sitcom that’s since realigned its scripts to better address issues like police brutality. But a preview of this remake looks less concerned with American standards—time will tell if it has more staying power than SNL Québec: