Getting up the ying-yang of Pfizer’s guy

Doug Ford speaks for everyone

Doug Ford added 21 tongues to his prior expressions of French to promote the stay-at-home order in between raging against the lack of vaccines. Schools in seven Ontario regions are about to reopen, but the end date of the overall lockdown remains unclear. Still, you can get a haircut in St. Catharines due to an idea worthy of Nathan for You.

A honeymoon for an afternoon

It took six hours for Justin Trudeau to get from his inevitable statement on Joe Biden’s inauguration to his inevitable statement on the Keystone XL pipeline expansion permit being revoked. The two leaders will talk on Friday. But if you’re missing the Trump-era Twitter fighting, Seth Rogen told former Canadian Ted Cruz to “get fucked fascist.”

We’ll never hear the end of it from Derek Sloan. But the eastern Ontario MP is out of the Conservative caucus after its members voted to expel him for accepting a donation from a white nationalist. Party leader Erin O’Toole will no doubt continue to express his enthusiasm for Sloan—but in that case it’ll be about the band he played on college radio.

A tense checkup with Dr. 6ix

Toronto plastic surgeon Martin Jugenburg was the focus of a disciplinary hearing due to his posting patient photos without consent and other professional misconduct he acknowledged while disputing certain allegations. The social media presence for the @realdrsix remains intact as the tale of his penchant for attention is thoroughly told:

Bell Media executive cuts keep coming. Change at the top of the division for 2021 sparked a second round of exits, including BNN Bloomberg general manager Grant Ellis, who shared his shock at getting axed. The managers of radio and podcasting strategies were also ousted, not to mention the CTV Vancouver news director named Les Staff.

Finally, loud sound of lockdown

Pup proved to be successfully neurotic during quarantine by releasing six songs under the title This Place Sucks Ass, followed by a Christmas song for a time of border closure. Now they’re stuck at home in Toronto for a facsimile of an NPR Tiny Desk Concert, even if this amount of punk rock claustrophobia generated noise complaints: