Chair Girl is no distraction from COVID-19

Some stories to stay safe with

Despite anticipation that Marcella Zoia’s third court date of 2020—after pleading guilty in November to mischief endangering life by throwing a chair from a Toronto balcony last February—sentencing was put off again. In the meantime, Chair Girl’s Instagram was scrubbed of everything but one portrait.

Coronavirus rolled it all down

Strategy goes behind the scenes of how a Friday morning announcement by Tim Hortons that it was postponing a reusable cup giveaway—meant to offset bad press for creating litter—segued into a Saturday afternoon announcement making the entire contest digital. But with that comes backlash for Roll Up the Rim having a terms of service.

COVID-19 levity fails to click for Ritual. The food-ordering app based in Toronto sent an email to explain how picking up orders yourself can assist with the advised social distancing, and then threw in a reference to Lizzo. Even if most Ritual members didn’t notice it, the follow-up email promising to “do better” drew attention to the message.

There will be no 2020 Junos

Saskatoon was set to host the rare event drawing folks to the city from across Canada, but the Juno Awards ceremony and related events have now been cancelled. The main show was to feature a list of low-key notables, including a live performance from the Montreal piano instrumentalist who became an unexpected main nominee:

Cineplex’s would-be buyer is pondering the pandemic. Cineworld shares plunged after the U.K. company outlined a worst-case COVID-19 scenario: being unable to pay debts because of movie theatres being closed for three months. Concerns were already raised about the debt taken on by Cineworld to offer $2.8 billion for Cineplex.

The most surreal diagnosis yet

Rudy Gobert, the Utah Jazz player who mocked the coronavirus on Monday, prior to meeting the Toronto Raptors, ended up testing positive for COVID-19. These results were followed by the NBA suspending the season and all the Raptors going into self-isolation for two weeks. The Athletic has made this review of our moment a free read:

Finally, the newsletter will return next week. And reload with more fun, hopefully!