Canada’s most socially distant newsletter

Let’s see where this story goes

Whatever official announcements regarding action to try and flatten the curve of COVID-19 lie ahead from the self-isolated Justin Trudeau, they were oddly preceded by a group of Liberal cabinet members trying to justify not announcing those policies the night before. Eventually, it was leaked that they involve international flight restrictions.

The last parades for St. Patrick

Queen’s University students ignored urgings against partying on the Kingston streets before St. Patrick’s Day—and they happily shared why. Brock University students in St. Catharines were reportedly more cautious.

Amazon shut down the Vancouver couple who were hustling wipes. National infamy arrived for Manny Ranga and Violeta Perez after Toronto Star reporter Douglas Quan ran into the Lysol hoarders at a Costco, where they boasted of making $30,000 profit. But a crackdown on price gouging forced other resellers to turn philanthropic.

L’Amour fought hard for love

Cineplex reduced its theatre capacity by at least half in response to COVID-19—but its measure can’t transcend forced closures, initially in Quebec. And that includes at least two dark weeks for Montreal’s persistent porn cinema, despite this vow of defiance:

“The World’s Most Dangerous Radio Show” is stalled at the border. A planned weekday debut for The Breakfast Club on Flow 93.5, as the first part of a deal to syndicate New York–based hip-hop talk across Canada, sounds like it was delayed for the moment.

Finally, the COVID-19 comic

Norm Macdonald performed what might be the first great coronavirus stand-up set. After all, it’s not like there’ll be an audience to compare the number of laughs at the Irvine Improv, or anywhere else. This bit of tragedy plus time stretches over two clips: