Twelve Thirty Six

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Canada’s most socially distant newsletter

Let’s see where this story goes

Mar 16, 2020
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Twitter avatar for @NatashaFatahNatasha Fatah @NatashaFatah
#BREAKING Federal Ministers just spoke with reporters about a major announcement coming on Monday regarding Canada's response to the #coronavirus #covid19 - here it is. #cdnpoli
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March 15th 2020

1,042 Retweets1,785 Likes

Whatever official announcements regarding action to try and flatten the curve of COVID-19 lie ahead from the self-isolated Justin Trudeau, they were oddly preceded by a group of Liberal cabinet members trying to justify not announcing those policies the night before. Eventually, it was leaked that they involve international flight restrictions.


The last parades for St. Patrick

Twitter avatar for @CKWS_TVGlobal Kingston @CKWS_TV
“I’m from Scotland. I’ve travelled 3,000 miles, and obviously, the fact that the virus is happening is not going to stop me from getting steaming [drunk],” said Cam, who wouldn’t provide his last name. #ygk
Coronavirus: Queen’s St. Patrick’s Day party went on after health officials urged against itLast week, Queen’s, KFL&A Public Health, and Kingston Police warned students not to attend street parties and to stay away from large gatherings in order to stop the spread of the virus.trib.al

March 15th 2020

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Queen’s University students ignored urgings against partying on the Kingston streets before St. Patrick’s Day—and they happily shared why. Brock University students in St. Catharines were reportedly more cautious.


Amazon shut down the Vancouver couple who were hustling wipes. National infamy arrived for Manny Ranga and Violeta Perez after Toronto Star reporter Douglas Quan ran into the Lysol hoarders at a Costco, where they boasted of making $30,000 profit. But a crackdown on price gouging forced other resellers to turn philanthropic.


L’Amour fought hard for love

Cineplex reduced its theatre capacity by at least half in response to COVID-19—but its measure can’t transcend forced closures, initially in Quebec. And that includes at least two dark weeks for Montreal’s persistent porn cinema, despite this vow of defiance:

Twitter avatar for @cinemalamourCinéma L'Amour ❤️ @cinemalamour
***COVID 19 Update:*** Schools - Closed NBA - Suspended NHL - Suspended Airlines - Suspended Venues - Closed Other countries - Lockdown Casino - Closed Via Rail - Closed Olympic Stadium - Closed Museums - Closed *CINÉMA L’AMOUR* - OPEN TO PORN + FOREPLAY ❤️❤️❤️

March 15th 2020

7 Retweets77 Likes

“The World’s Most Dangerous Radio Show” is stalled at the border. A planned weekday debut for The Breakfast Club on Flow 93.5, as the first part of a deal to syndicate New York–based hip-hop talk across Canada, sounds like it was delayed for the moment.


Finally, the COVID-19 comic

Norm Macdonald performed what might be the first great coronavirus stand-up set. After all, it’s not like there’ll be an audience to compare the number of laughs at the Irvine Improv, or anywhere else. This bit of tragedy plus time stretches over two clips:

Twitter avatar for @normmacdonaldNorm Macdonald @normmacdonald
In my very last stand-up appearance I discussed Tom Hanks Disease (THD). Take a look
Norm Macdonald does standup about coronavirusLoading...youtube.com

March 14th 2020

662 Retweets3,402 Likes
Twitter avatar for @normmacdonaldNorm Macdonald @normmacdonald
Since I may never do stand-up again here is some more from my final set, speaking on Tom Hanks Disease (THD), that which very well may be my undoing. Enjoy Part 2.
Norm Macdonald does standup about coronavirus pt. 2Loading...youtube.com

March 15th 2020

628 Retweets4,125 Likes
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